It's not that easy bein' green

                                 Bein Green by Kermit the Frog:

It's not that easy bein' green

Having to spend each day the color of the leaves

When I think you could be nicer being red or yellow or gold

Or something much more colorful like that

It's not that easy being green

It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things

And people tend to pass you over

Cause you're not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water

Or stars in the sky

But green's the color of spring

And green can be cool and friendly-like

And green can be big like an ocean

or important like a mountain

Or tall like a tree

When green is all that is to be

It could be you wonder

But, Why wonder, why wonder

I'm green, and I'll do fine

And it's beautiful, and I think it's what I wanna be

Like Kermit, I have had a hard time embracing “bein green.” I am pale green at best. Decades ago with the advent of the recycling bins I tossed something plastic into the trash and my friend asked me why. I told him I just really wasn’t that interested in the environment. What tiny difference would my contribution make…enough other people were doing it.

Then the indisputable argument: "What about the world your kids are going to inherit? And your grandkids?” Once I finally remembered to have kids, I had to care. I was moved to get a little greener.

Earth Day began in 1970. It went global in 1990 but that was still three years before I had my first child. Call me a late adopter but the truth is I haven’t even made a concerted effort to become greener until recent years.

Watered Down Attempt

I am perhaps the most well hydrated  person on earth.. I consume a minimum of five 21 ounce plastic bottles of water daily. I have then at work, I have them in my car, I sneak them into movie theaters in my purse. That means our household has to have a constant supply of at least three 24 packs from Costco on hand to feed my habit.

Supply enough for Armageddon

But then I learned from my son, who attends a “liberal arts” college, that plastic bottles just aren’t cool. Campus kids use refillable water bottles .All of them have a CamelBak or some other brand accessorizing their backpacks like the green badge of courage.

So, I started being “open minded.” The first step was refilling my plastic waters instead of throwing them into the overflowing recycling bin. To be honest, I didn’t do this, my husband (much greener) did it for me. 

Refilling!

And then, mirabile dictu, on Christmas of 2014 I asked Santa to give me a refillable water bottle. Now I can carry this proudly into business meetings and people don’t  look at me like someone who has just arrived with a small bag of turds.

My very own reusable bottle

Just Say No (if you can hear yourself)

Here’s one thing I will never go green on—the air drying machines in public restrooms. They are abhorrent and they don’t work. As my son once said, when he sees one of those he knows he will be drying  his hands on his jeans, a sort of modern day Mr.Greenjeans.

To raise the ante on office greenery, our adminstrators have installed the new and modern Dyson hand dryer. This thing is louder than sitting in the front row of a Rolling Stones concert (yes, I’ve been there,this is not an analogy). 

The Dreaded Dyson

I turn to the paper towel option immediately. I’m afraid the only way I will ever become more green in this department is with the return of the “ladies room attendant” who hands you a cloth towel at the sink.A lovely tradition. I think the last time I saw that service was at The 21 Club in New York City. Please bring them back America. It’s a jobs creator and environmental winning combo.

Paper towels, ahhh

.

Ways in which I have glady gone green:

          

Nailed It

• Going to The Dry Bar to have someone else use their water and electricity supply to blow dry my hair.
• Buying a Mini Cooper. My car-bon footprint is that of a toddler’s.  
• Getting my nails done green

So I’ve made inroads into getting green. I'm green light. But I am afraid I will never be forest green. The color doesn’t become my complexion.

But as Kermit concludes by the end of his lament:

I'm green, and I'll do fine

And it's beautiful, and I think it's what I wanna  be

Now I think, at least.

Happy St. Patrick's Day